Tablets should not replace real world expereince
My article about several misguided parents hooking iPads to strollers went live on 8bitdad.com com today. Check it out: Link to article
Blogs (and Tumblrs) I like
With all the talk about Daddy-Blogs I thought I would share a few blogs (and Tumblrs) that I like, in no particular order:
Parenting blogs:
- Modern Kiddo -Great style and love of all things vintage
- Parenting Fails -It’s funny
- 8BitDad -Jerks with hearts of gold
- Daddy Types -His love of station wagons is enough for me to read
- Beta Dad -You had me at the description of your site
- How to be a dad -Diagrams are awesome
Other Blogs/Tumblrs:
- Dude Craft -Cool stuff I wish I had made
- Super Punch -All things comic book, action figures, animation
- Nick Drake -Cool pictures of cool things
- Werd -Cool dude gadgets
- Thundaga -Images and Gifs of lightning. They do 1 thing, and well
- Cabin Porn -Yeah, not that kind. It’s pictures of really amazing cabins
- Hogan Here -Person blog of singer Kelly Hogan, it’s really boss
- The Nifty 50s -Great images from the 1950s
- Aziz is board -Aziz Ansari’s blog. Very funny (when updated)
- Valentino Vamp -Iconic images from the golden age of film
- Fuck Yeah Tattoos -The good, bad and ugly of tattoos
- Audrey Hepburn Forever -Yeah, I’m a sucker of Audrey
- Awesome People hanging out Together -Is what it says. Nice & simple
- Space Ghost Zombie -(NSFW) Old sci-fy, hot rods, and some soft-core
- Bettie Page is all the rage -(NSFW) All Bettie, all the time
My life as a Daddy Blogger: The Early Years
I know you are, but what am I? Recently I’ve been hearing from my friends on Facebook, and the few parenting blogs that I read, about various feuds between “Daddy Bloggers” and I’m really confused by it all. Reading the posts and counter posts made me think back to March 23rd, 2012 when I started my blog, and what made me do it.
It’s only been 3+ months since I started and I feel like I’m just starting to find my voice and rhythm with my blog. I have some days that it’s hard to write anything, other days I can’t get it down fast enough, and then I have those days when I just want to post a picture of a Stormtrooper. Thinking about it I had the realized that this is because my blog is a direct reflection of who I am as a person, and honestly, who I want to be as a dad (and maybe sometimes who I want people to think I am?). And I think the same goes for most other people’s blogs.
In the beginning: Before I started my blog I took a very “designerly” approach to the whole thing. Research, research, research. I looked at page layouts, graphic styles, software (Blogger vs. Tumblr) as well as reading as many different dad blogs as I could find. I found that I had a really visceral response to sites, either toward the appearance (I like pretty sites), the writing style (I don’t want to read your thesis), message content (don’t talk down to me), or to the actual person that was authoring the posts (funny+nerd+know-it-all-that-has-realized-he/she-doesn’t-know-it-all).
As I think back on it now in light of all these daddy blogging squabbles it makes a lot of sense. Because blogs are such an extension of the people putting them together I gravitated toward blogs run by people that I would probably like in “real life”. And that group breaks down into two basic groups of people for me, 1. People I would like to be friends with, 2. People I respect (and sometimes they are the same).
I also found that the how people use their blogs is pretty different. Some people create a day-by-day account of what they are doing and what their kids are doing. This can be interesting from time to time, but honestly, for me, this is what I share with my family on our private site, not what I put out into the world. So I generally skip over those. Then you have blogs that feel very academic in their approach to parenting, with lots of dense (often unsupported/one sided) information, which again I skipped over. Then you have 8bitdad. I’m not sure if I found these guys on a Goggle search, or hyper-linked from someone else page, but right from the start I liked it.
Here are a couple of “dudes”, average nerdish dads, talking about the things that I’m interested in as a newbie dad AND things that I’m interested in as a level 70 prestige nerd. So I was pretty excited when I submitted an article on cloth diapering and they posted it. As I submitted a few more articles and they also got posted I realized, much to my surprise, that part of blogging was gaining new “friends” that I could relate and talk to about this new chapter in my life. It became an actual conversation rather than the monologue I was anticipating.
However, much like any environment where people are having conversations about topics they feel passionate about you have conflict. Now throw in the fact that being on-line lets people create a false or “embellished” persona and combine that with the disconnect of not speaking to people in person so that you can read inflections and social cues and you’ve got the potential for some really nasty exchanges. But at the end of the day, whether they intend to or not, people will always reveal their true nature to you.
We can’t repel fire power of that magnitude: So, as I scroll past the volley of insults, quoted and alleged misquoted “facts” about who did what and when, I think Who Cares? I’ve know plenty of guys people in my life that I don’t like (and I’m sure many that don’t like me). I met them, we talked or I witnessed their behavior, and I formed the opinion that I don’t like them and so I avoid them. I don’t feel the need to tell other people about what they did, or that they should avoid them, because that person my find a new best friend. Who knows.
To all you “veteran” bloggers (which in the arguments seems to mean 2-3 years?) I’m not sure why you are getting so upset. Is it truly that other people that you don’t like are getting more hits and press than you? Is it because you feel that these people are getting more respect (different than hits you know)? Is it because these people are soiling the “good name” of daddy-bloggers? well, I go back to my original thought, who cares?
How about if you scroll down to your initial post (or early on) and think back to why you started in the first place? And hey, maybe it was to a “renowned” blogger and get tons of hits, but I respect that most people, like me, were simply trying to figure out what the hell was going on and maybe help/connect with a few other people doing the same.
Below is my first post:
Ultrasound when we discovered the gender of our child on 11/22/2010
11/22/2010: This is when shit got real. Seeing my baby for the first time that he actually looked like a humanoid, finding out it’s gender (male) and getting to visually discover that all that racket down there were his chronic hiccup fits. What a truly a magical morning. It was at this point that I knew I needed to double down on my efforts to get ready to be a first time father, and that it was time to get serious about being a stay at home Dad.
BACK STORY: My wife and I are both artists and designers, and at the time that we found out that we were going to have a baby, we were both doing extremely well in our respective careers. However, after some soul searching, child care surveying, financial review, and discussions with friends we decided that it would be great if one of us could stay home with the kid. It was a tough decision to make, but once it was made, it became clear that it was the right choice and it was a huge relief for both of us. As the secondary part of that conversation started as to who it would be that would stay home it was obvious that I was the perfect choice. My wife loves her company, job, the people she works with and is in one of those rare situations were she actually gets the respect (and salary) that she deserves. I, on the other hand, was the Design Manager for a company that was so poorly run by the upper management that it was doomed to failure, and I had already achieved all my goals of designing for NASA, The Smithsonian Institution, CIA, FBI, The US Military.. all the nerd g-spots, so I had no problem stepping away on top. It was like winning the Design Super Bowl and being in my post-game interview “You’ve accomplished all your design goals at this company, now what are you going to do?” My reply “I’m going to be a stay at home dad!!”
INSPIRATION FOR THIS BLOG: Once it was decided that I was going to be a stay at home Dad, a term that I despise, I started looking on-line and at book stores for information on actually being a Dad. I was really struck by the fact that most of the information was, in my opinion, on how not to be a dumb-ass rather than about being a father. Real parenting gems like “Bring your wife flowers and pick up dinner on the way home to make her feel special” seemed to dominate the topics. It was at that point that my wife told me I should write a book for other Dads like myself that were non-morons/interested in the family/geekish/inquisitive. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but sitting down to write a book was so outside my comfort zone that I had no real idea on where to start. So instead I remodeled our house.
Now as we approach our son’s 1 year birthday, and after our first OB appointment yesterday where we confirmed that we are having our second child, it seemed like the right time to sit down and put my thoughts on (virtual) paper.
Now as we approach our son’s 1 year birthday, and after our first OB appointment yesterday where we confirmed that we are having our second child, it seemed like the right time to sit down and put my thoughts on (virtual) paper.
It is my hope that I can impart some of the wisdom I have gained during this process, as well as some of the missteps that I continue to make, talk objectively as an Industrial Designer about products that I love (and hate) and help other dads like me maintain their geek lifestyle while being positive role model, supportive partner and “cool Dad” all the while being assimilated by these crazy new life forms that have entered our world.
I filmed another promo to let you know that it’s Sunday, and thus time to watch 8bitdad live as they film their weekly podcast.
Guest spot #3 on the 8bitdad campaign against their own video podcast that films live every Sunday at 1pm (EST).
I didn’t ask why, I just filmed it.
8bitdad.com Episode 035: You’ve Got Huck
In the latest episode of 8BitDad’s weekly webisode it seems that I come up quite a bit, as well as receive a new personal jingle and ringtone from the guys (58:36).
Mug Shot
Welcome to my morning world. It takes me at least 2 cups of joe to really get running.. which is funny, because before I had kids I was a morning person.
Now to sit back and watch the live version of the 8BitDad video podcast at (approximately) 1PM EST.
A 3-way to Remember
I was completely caught of guard when one night without warning my wife, who was several months pregnant at the time, brought someone else into our bed. At first I was excited, I mean guys are always talking about having 2 partners at the same time as if they are the holy grail, so I thought we should go for it. Plus, she seemed like she really wanted it, even more than I did, and said that it would make her sleep better afterwards. However this partner would turn out to be much more than I bargained for, and ultimately more than I could handle.
I should probably say before this gets too “Penthouse Forum” that the third party in our bed was a Leachco Snoolgle body pillow. Now if you are one of those guys who’s partner didn’t use one of these bed-real estate sucking monsters then let me clue you in. It’s a giant person sized and 12” wide extruded pillow with a curve at the bottom for “Temperature control” and another at the top to cradle her head meanwhile running down her back (or front) for extra support. And I get it, she is growing another human inside her while her body is doing all kinds of crazy things to make her uncomfortable. Besides, before the body pillow we had 3 extra pillows in the bed that would get wielded like some kind of crazy tri-numchuck in the middle of the night as she made adjustments to get comfortable. The problem was that as she would be tossing and turning and adjusting it was only a matter of time before one end of that pillow would get thrust in a way that caused me to dream of being Ed Norton in the American History X prison scene.
I know that she wasn’t violating me with a pillow on purpose, and that the urgency with which she was trusting the pillow around indicated the level of sudden discomfort that she was experiencing. So I knew that if I drew a “me or the pillow” line in the bed who was going to win that fight, and rightfully so. It should be said that it is one of my prime directives to make sure that my wife is happy and comfortable at all times, and especially when she was pregnant. So, off to the guest bed I went.
It’s funny how not sleeping with your partner can cause such an unexpected reaction. I mean, at this point I was still traveling 3-4 days a month for work and was sleeping in hotels overnight, but hotel sleep doesn’t count, it’s like a hall pass of the bed using world. And the guest bed was great at first. You have all this space to yourself and nobody is shining a light in your face to read by or stealing all the covers during the night. But then as time goes on you realize that you don’t get those sweet morning snuggles or the puzzled questions about who wadded up all the covers and tossed them on the floor on her side of the bed. I even tried getting in bed with her and waiting for her to fall asleep and then sneaking off only to return just before she got up in the morning. Ultimately it became a mixed bag of sleeping arraignments that got me through that next 6 months.
It was a banner day in my house when a month or so after our son was born that she announced that the body pillow was going into storage (YAY!).
..until last week. Now that she is a few months pregnant again it has reemerged from it’s closet shelf slumber and reinfested our bed. I was amazed at how quickly I had blocked out this part of the pregnancy that was such a part of my life only 18 months ago. In fact, it made me quiver for a minute as a stay at home Dad wondering what else I had forgotten about already?
After the first night, and a repeat performance by the pillow, we had a long chat about how we were going to deal with it this time. I know that her going without the body pillow was a non-starter for both if us, so this time we talked about getting a king sized bed. We had been thinking about getting a new mattress anyway, and since we are both over 6’ it makes sense. Not to mention that it will give the kids and I extra room to reenact the Apollo 11 landing. Luckily Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and what better way to show your gratitude for the troops than by saving some money on a mattress? (seriously, Thank You Troops!)
It has now been a week since we upgraded to bed 2.0 and so far it has worked out well for both of us. I still sleep on a 16” edge sliver of the bed, but now my wife and her pillow have basically a queen sized mattress to themselves. Which seems to be keeping the three of us pretty happy, so far.
I know that not everyone can afford the expense or floor space to switch to a king size bed, so I’m not suggesting that guys do this, it’s just fortunate for me that it worked out this way and enabled me to stop wearing the chastity belt I had fashioned late one night from my pillowcase.
(as seen on 8BitDad.com)
8BitDad is the modern parent’s source for real fatherly opinions (and shit)
In my ever widening quest to discover and understand all things stay at home Dad I stumbled unto this site and find it to be one of the best ballences of info and fatherly opinions: http://www.8bitdad.com
Check the webisodes, they are pretty boss: http://www.8bitdad.com/episodes/
*Full disclosure, I also was fortunate enough to have an article posted on the site yesterday (thanks guys): Year 1 in cloth diapers
